life

You’ll never win if you just compare

It’s easy to get into the habit of comparing yourself to others. I do it, you do it, everyone does it.

It doesn’t matter what you’re comparing, but whatever it is, you will never win. Someone will always be better than you in something, perhaps they are prettier, smarter, more popular, more intelligent, more successful, etc etc. If we fall into the bottomless pit that is comparison, it’s difficult to climb back out.

It’s like a drug – we know its bad for us but people still do it. The side-effects from this drug though, well, it’s safe to say they aren’t good. Jealously, insecurity, self-loathing, stress. If it’s so bad though, why do we still take it then?

We take it because of the off-chance we might win in something, anything, that can make us feel better. Something that can give us that high, even for just a few seconds, before we find something that we lose on and descend back into jealousy and stress.

It’s a habit I try my hardest not to do but sometimes, someone will come along and I fall off the wagon. I tell myself it’s OK, I tell myself that I can be better, that I can strive to be better but truth be told- I should be thinking -why can’t I just be me? Why should I strive to beat someone – someone who does not even matter?

Sure, it’s good to have competition, but life itself is a competition- Why put any more stress and pressure on myself to beat someone who I barely even know? Who’s to say I am less than them anyway?

We’re not characters that can be easily compared like top trumps cards, we’re complex beings with a multitude of traits and those traits, whether good or bad, make up our being. I am not a score out of 10 that determines if I win or lose against someone, all my traits make up everything that is me, there can be no scoring system.

Comparing with others means that I am not secure with what is me. There is nothing to compare – I can never be someone else. I can only be me, the only thing I should care about is being the best version of me, not trying to be like someone else. Comparing means that I am losing, not because my traits are any worse, but because I care enough to think that someone else is better. Next time I try to compare with someone else, I will remind myself this- that by comparing myself to others, I have already lost the game.

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