So I have had the the most awful day today. Just awful. So awful in fact that it made me cry- yes a 22-year old grown adult. Cry.
I’m not going to go into the details but those of you that know me personally know that I have hated this year, hated it with a vengeance and thought about quitting so many times. All because I hate my supervisor. I’m not going to go into why or much more but let’s just put that out there. I love the research I do, it’s just him that I can’t stand.This is not the first time that I have cried because of him as well, and it certainly isn’t the first time that someone in the group has cried because of him, but today was especially bad.
Today, I text my dad like I normally do if I know I’m going to be home late, so he doesn’t wait for me but as I was quite upset and I wanted to get as much as possible done, I told dad I didn’t even know what time I would be going home so don’t bother waiting for me. When I did eventually leave uni though, I text my family again to tell them what an awful day it was and that I was actually on the verge of tears. I had to stop myself crying a few times whilst walking to the train station and whilst I was on the train. Thankfully I have a strong sense of pride and so it does not allow me to cry in public, if I had let that go then I would have most definitely been a sobbing mess on the train.
Instead, as soon as I got home, my dad opened the door for me and what surprised me was that dad pulled me in for the biggest, warmest and most loving hug I have ever had in my whole 22 years. As soon as I was in his arms, I burst into tears and dad held me for what felt like forever telling me “everything will be OK, you’ll get days like these, but it’ll get better soon”.
My parents are better than typical asian parents in terms of giving affection and showing their love, but I didn’t expect my dad to hold me like that. It felt very comforting and I’m so glad I have dad here with me for this year, or else I think I would have just shut myself in my room and spent the rest of the night crying. Instead, I have done a bit of crying, but I feel so much better and I feel like even when I have bad days, as long as I have my dad by my side, it’ll all be OK in the end.